July 29, 2011

Tonight was WWE’s annual swing through Peoria at the Peoria Civic Center, and I have to say: this crowd seemed like it could have cared less.

I should also say at this point that, while I may rip on the choices WWE made with this show, I had a great time. I went with my friend Lucas and joined up with another friend, Mark, who just so happens to work for a radio station. Mark had free tickets for the radio groups party suite, so we had a bird’s eye view of the show. After intermission, some of his coworkers left, and up came 95.5 GLO’s Jeff Stevens and his son. Jeff was a gag.

Onto the show…

Peoria isn’t the hotbed of pro wrestling fans like it’s bigger sister, Chicago. But, WWE doesn’t help things much when the first Superstar it sends out is Chris Masters. Yep, a poor guy who barely catches a break on Superstars – a show relegated solely to the Internet without the backing of a television network or, really, the WWE as a company – is the first guy sent out to rile up a crowd of 2,000 people. Next comes Jack Swagger, an individual who I believe has all the potential in the world but hasn’t yet connected with the fans. For each of these two, this has to be an uncomfortable position to be in. Somehow, Masters is able to flex enough for the crowd to get behind him and pick up the pinfall.

The show doesn’t drag. As Masters is leaving, R-Truth runs out from the back and starts a-clubberin’ him. Masters is saved by Long Island Iced Z himself, Zack Ryder. But The Miz can’t take it, so he starts wailing on Ryder. Finally, Alex Riley comes out to settle this nonsense. After a short brawl, Riley issues a tag team challenge – him and Ryder taking on Miz and Truth. Ryder shouts, “Woo woo woo!” I thought for sure Miz or Truth would respond, since the Miz is a great antagonist and Truth’s been getting some good mic time lately. Nope. Instead we see Zack Ryder get crushed the whole match only for Alex Riley to make the tag, until he eats a Skull-Crushing Finale from the PWI’s top-rated wrestler in the world, the Miz.

Surely, I thought, at this point in the show, somebody would get on the microphone. But then came Tyler Reks, a guy who I was legitimately surprised to see still around. What is his gimmick, anyway? Why does he have dreads? Has he ever talked? Wasn’t he in a Survivor Series match or something and pushed as a big deal? By the time I asked myself and my friends these questions, I snapped back into reality and noticed Primo was high-fiving people left and right. Since when did Primo become a babyface? The bell hadn’t even rung yet and I was tired of this match since I had to ask so much before we even began. Thankfully, Primo hit the Backcracker and was headed to the back.

The mariachi band hit and out came Mr. Money in the Bank, Alberto Del Rio. I was so relieved when Del Rio took the mic. “Yes,” I thought. “Give us a reason to hate you.” And he did. Del Rio talked about destiny. It was his destiny to be world champion. Then he turned to the audience. It was the destiny of the guy in the blue shirt to be married to his ugly wife. It was the destiny of the people up top to be poor. Easy, Del Rio. I may have gotten free tickets to that party suite, but I’m definitely not poor. Either way, the Mexican aristocrat finally gave people somebody to dislike, which meant Kofi Kingston would be cheered even more. They had a pretty good back-and-forth match, with Del Rio teasing he would leave during the start. Del Rio wound up winning via the armbar.

Eve Torres came out and told us she was the guest host, but was immediately interrupted by a Bella (I’m assuming it was Brie). Brie wanted Kelly Kelly, who readily accepted the challenge. I kind of stopped paying attention at this point, and when I returned my focus to the ring, I was surprised they were still performing. Kelly won with the leg drop…thing she does, and thus retained the WWE Divas Championship.

Eve, who remained at ringside, climbed back into the ring to host a dance contest. You’d think after so many years, WWE would find something else for Divas to do on the house shows. Eve’s duty as host was to emcee a dance contest between four fans to get a chance to go backstage. The winner was based on crowd reaction. I’m guessing – and this is a legit guess, based on WWE’s charitable work – that the first guy was a mentally retarded fan, named Charlie. The crowd showed Charlie their support with one of the loudest reactions up to that point. Next up was some girl did some worn-out dance and got booed by the fans, so she gave up. I could not get over that Peoria fans cared so much to actually boo a fellow fan. In a bigger city, maybe, but not Peoria. Mama Woo Woo looked like the twin sister of King Kong Bundy, who flirted with Justin Roberts before performing some kind of stripper move on the ropes. Some kid wound up winning.

After intermission, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov d. Michael McGuillicutty and David Otunga after Santino hit the Cobra on McGuillicutty. This was a non-title match, and Santino had an arm sock on that appeared to be a snake. Seriously, why not give Santino three minutes on the microphone? This guy is hilarious.

Dolph Ziggler d. Evan Bourne to retain the WWE United States Championship. No surprise there, given it was a title match. Dolph actually got on the mic and heeled the crowd. He was the night’s heel who pretended like he was going to walk out.

Finally, the Champion vs. Champion bout. “All right,” I told myself, “This has all just been a warm-up for the crowd to go nuts for CM Punk.” WWE had done a terrible job promoting the fact that CM Punk was actually going to wrestle, and John Sharp of the Peoria Journal Star called them out on it.

nernernerner, nernernerner…nernernerner, nernernerner…LOOK AT MY EYYYYYES what do ya seeeeee? The cult of personaaaaaalityyyyy

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD! THESE FANS ARE KNOCKING OVER THE RAILING TO GET A GLIMPSE OF THE MOST ELECTRIFYING SUPERSTAR IN THE PAST TEN YEARS! CM PUNK HAS CREATED PANDEMONIUM IN PEORIA!

I wish. As Punk meandered his way out, WWE title around his waist, he got a reaction. But not one nearly as deafening as the one he received a few weeks ago in his hometown that’s THREE HOURS AWAY. It turns out the crowd was saving its orgasm for John Cena. Really? Has the whole CM Punk angle just gone over the heads of every single child? This kid who was sitting in our party suite didn’t even know who Punk was. Call it gimmick infringement, but…ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRO?

Cena and Punk went more or less back and forth. As the match was hitting its climax, they hit a double clothesline. Both men prone, out came Alberto Del Rio toting his Money in the Bank briefcase and yelling at a referee. But which champion does he go after? Del Rio finally hauled off and crashed the briefcase into CM Punk, and then John Cena. The bell rang. With Del Rio and two referees trying to figure out this mess – and the conundrum of cashing in while a match is taking place – CM Punk nailed Del Rio with the GTS. Del Rio then rolled right into John Cena, who delivered the Attitude Adjustment. As Del Rio limped to the back, Cena and Punk each posed with their title as Cena’s music played. Punk finally walked off. Cena hoisted the title up one more time before heading out to high-five some fans and ringside.

And that’s it. That was how they ended the show.

Quick results:

Chris Masters pinned Jack Swagger with a roll-up.

The Miz and R-Truth d. Alex Riley and Zack Ryder when The Miz pinned Riley.

Primo d. Tyler Reks with the backcracker.

Alberto Del Rio d. Kofi Kingston with the armbar.

Kelly Kelly retained the WWE Divas Championship against Brie Bella.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov d. David Otunga & Michael McGullicutty when Santino hit McGuillicutty with the Cobra.

John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a no-contest when Alberto Del Rio interfered, attempting to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase.

April 6, 2011

Even if WWE’s brand of sports entertainment has loosened its restrictions on PG content by using “bad words” and showing bloody lips and noses, they are still cracking down – and rightfully so – on chair shots.

Specifically, WWE has fined Triple H and The Undertaker for an undisclosed sum regarding the chair shot from their WrestleMania 27 match.

PWinsider picked up on the press release sent out by WWE:

Pursuant to WWE’s Concussion policy, the stunt of using a folded metal chair shot to the head is prohibited. Triple H and The Undertaker have both been fined for violating this policy at WrestleMania XXVII.  WWE penalizes through fine and/or suspension for violation of this policy, which is unchanged and still in effect.

Since WWE and TNA both have cracked down on protected and unprotected chair shots to the head, I thought this made Triple H look even more desperate to try to break The Undertaker’s streak. For that reason, both of these veterans might have just said, “Screw it,” and did it anyway, knowing what the consequences would be.

On the other hand, you could argue Triple H and The Undertaker should be role models for the younger generation. Doing this is a blatant act of defiance against the rule.

This past winter, J Nicholas Autumn and I debated chair shots in professional wrestling – or sports entertainment. Autumn was for chair shots for the realism they bring to the story, and I was against them for the inherent dangers involved.

What do you think – should WWE have fined these future Hall of Famers? Or should Triple H and The Undertaker play by the rules, just like everybody else?

February 28, 2011

It’s been 10 years since the last gimmick battle royal, and I think it would be totally awesome if WWE did another one. WrestleMania X-7’s show featured 80s and early 90s gimmicks – the Gobbledy Gooker, Sgt. Slaughter, Freebird Michael Hayes, the Bushwhackers and the winner, the Iron Sheik.

Based on the nostalgia feel of the Nov. 15 Old School RAW, and WWE bringing back other blasts from the past – ie, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Booker T and Trish Stratus on Tough Enough, Diesel’s Royal Rumble entry and The Rock hosting WrestleMania – I think enough time has passed to include many Attitude-era characters for another gimmick battle royal.

These are talents not active on the current WWE or TNA rosters. I’m not sure of some of the other commitments some of the others have.

• Vader
• The Godwinns
• Mosh and Thrasher, the Headbangers
• Road Warrior Animal
• D’Lo Brown
• The Disciples of the Apocalypse – Chainz, 8-Ball, Skull
• Los Boricuas
• Kai En Tai – Taka Michunoku and Funaki
• Too Cool – Grandmaster Sexay, Scotty 2 Hotty, Rikishi
• Steve Blackman
• The Oddities – Kurrgan, Golga, Giant Silva
• Tiger Ali Singh
• The Brooklyn Brawler
• The Patriot
• Marc Mero
• The New Age Outlaws – Badass Billy Gunn and Road Dogg Jesse James
• X-pac
• Hardcore Holly
• Essa Rios
• The Godfather
• Mean Street Posse – Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas
• Gangrel

And then in ten years, we can have another one, led by Santino, Chris Masters and The Great Khali.

Who would you include in this list that I may have left off?

December 21, 2010

I was just getting into professional wrestling in 1997, one of the hottest years in quite some time.  I didn’t grow up watching Bret Hart, Owen Hart, the British Bulldog, or anybody else.  I didn’t realize the weight that Montreal carried with it.  But in the years since, as a self-proclaimed wrestling historian, I have watched the Bret Hart DVD set WWE produced in 2005, Bret’s 2006 Hall of Fame speech, the A&E documentary “Wrestling with Shadows,” read his book and I’ve seen every match of his I have on any DVD in my library.

I’m a Bret Hart mark.

I buy into the Hitman character, who stands for what’s right in a world where characters can be so deceiving and callous.  I believe that Bret Hart, the person, has had an incredible life and career.  He’s seen so much in his life, has meant so much to Canada, and has inspired so many that it’s hard not to like him.

Naturally, I had to buy the Hart & Soul DVD.  I’d read about the Hart family in both Bret Hart’s book “Hitman,” and in Martha Hart’s tragic account of her husband Owen’s death in “Broken Harts,” that I felt Hart & Soul would make a great addition to my collection.

Bret pulled no punches in his book.  Perhaps he was writing it at a different stage in his life, but I thought the WWE pulled many punches in their production.  I thought their portrayal of the Harts was always a positive one, when it seemed that Bret said it wasn’t always – or even usually – the case.

The other issue I have with it is that I thought it should have went longer.  The Harts have gone through so much that I think it needed to be documented further.  Maybe WWE felt that fans could purchase Bret’s book, but I doubt that since they wouldn’t see a dime of that profit.

Minus those two things, I’ve always been curious in the Hart family.  I think this is a great addition to anyone’s DVD collection, featuring interviews from many members of the Hart family.  The features are even hosted by the third generation – Tyson Kidd, David Hart Smith and Natalya.

Top 5 favorite matches on WWE’s Hart & Soul: The Hart Family Anthology

Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog – Summerslam 1992

I can’t say anything about this match that hasn’t already been said.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart – Summerslam 1994

I liked how there was no blood.  Bret alluded to this on his DVD when he said most cage matches are bloody affairs, but I thought this really told a good story about a younger brother trying to overcome his brother – and really, his whole family.

Owen Hart vs. The British Bulldog – RAW 1997

This match crowned the Bulldog as the first WWF European Champion.  I hadn’t seen this match before and was very impressed with the athletic performance of both men.  Starting off very technical, Owen resorted to some sneaky tactics.  The German crowd ate it up.

The Hart Foundation vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Ken Shamrock, Goldust and the Legion of Doom – In Your House: Canadian Stampede 1997

How much do you think any professional wrestling company would love to hear a crowd as hot as the one in Calgary that night?  It wasn’t the best technical or scientific match, but the simple story of the Hart Foundation and their entire family uniting was really special to the live crowd.

Bret Hart, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Undertaker and Dude Love – RAW 1997

This was a random pick, almost.  I liked all of the matches on this set, but I really liked the cast of characters in this flag match.  The Austin/Dude/Taker combo involves three of my favorites, along with Bret on the other side.  So it was a lot of fun for me.

Bonus!

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart – WrestleMania 26

This match wasn’t included on this disc, but if you have WrestleMania, watch this match after you watch the Hart & Soul set.  Again, I thought this told a great story of a family united.

December 20, 2010

The National Football League has made a lot of press lately about protecting its players from concussions.  While the health and well-being of these men is important, another group of athletes in a dangerous profession isn’t getting as much press.

These men and women work for the top two professional wrestling companies in the United States, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA).

In March of this year, word hit the wrestling news sites that WWE introduced the WWE & ImPACT Concussion Management Program.  Among other stipulations, the PDF available on the WWE’s corporate site says “[t]he WWE has eliminated using folding metal chairs to ‘strike’ an opponent in the head.”  The document further states a fine and/or suspension is in line for that or otherwise intentionally striking the head.

Within weeks of the WWE’s policy going public, TNA seemed to show blatant disregard to concussions in trying to put over Rob Terry as a monster.  After their April match on Impact ended, wrestler Homicide entered the ring and blasted Terry over the head with a vicious chair shot.  “The Freak,” as he’s called, didn’t sell the move and instead delivered a slam to Homicide while blood slid down his face from the top of his head.

Chris Nowinski, a Harvard football player turned WWE superstar, was forced into early retirement due to multiple concussions suffered on the field and in the ring.  Since leaving WWE, Nowinski has started the Sports Legacy Institute, which looks into brain trauma in all sports.  Particularly, the SLI studied the brain of former WWE superstar Chris Benoit – the individual who murdered his wife and his son before hanging himself over the course of a weekend in June 2007 – and said it resembled that of an 85-year-old Alzheimer’s patient.

To be fair, Benoit’s brain trauma isn’t the result of just chair shots.  It also had to be aided by years of steroid and painkiller abuse based on reports that have surfaced since his death.

In November 2007, four months after the Benoit incident, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon appeared on CNN’s “Death Grip: Inside Pro Wrestling” and said his performers didn’t use chairs to the head.  This was nothing short of a lie.

But not every wrestler – or sports entertainer, or superstar, or performer or whatever the “Big Two” want to call their talent pool these days – who has taken unprotected chair shots has wound up dead.

Look at Mick Foley.  The “Hardcore Legend” has taken chair shot after chair shot.  He’s also performed countless other asinine stunts that probably should have killed him by now.

Just take a look at Foley’s Hell in a Cell match with the Undertaker in 1998, a match he claims to barely remember.  In that match alone, while wrestling as Mankind, Foley plunged from atop the 15-foot-tall structure, then broke through the roof in an unplanned spot and wound up being thrown into tacks twice.

In one brutal match with The Rock, Mankind took 11 chair shots to the head.

“Five shots.  That’s all it was supposed to be,” Foley said in his book, “Foley is Good.”  “It would take six more to get me up the aisle as my children screamed and the blood poured down my face.”

Extrapolate this for a career that has lasted since the 1980s, and you have to wonder how Benoit killed his family while Foley authored several best-selling books.

I reached to my Twitter followers who are fans of the product to see what they had to say about the lack of unprotected chair shots in wrestling.  To J Nicholas Autumn, wrestling today is missing just the type of violence Foley endured.

“[T]here is little to no reason why two consenting adults couldn’t choose to partake in an action that helps peak the audience’s interest in their performance,” Autumn said.  “Many of the most memorable professional wrestling feuds and matches have ended in one man’s bloodshed induced by a chair or other foreign object’s malicious use.”

Sounds a lot like the “I Quit” match in which Foley received nearly a dozen chair shots before the match finally ended.

Autumn may be onto a point regarding lasting memories, as the series of chair shots Foley took was one of the first images that popped into my mind.

TNA has since banned unprotected steel chair shots to the head after one of its top stars, Mr. Anderson, was sidelined with a concussion after an accidental blow by Jeff Hardy in late 2010.  The incident forced TNA to reshuffle its pay-per-view card and find a new opponent for Hardy.

“TNA has absolutely thrown down the gauntlet and said no more unprotected chair shots,” Anderson told the “Between the Ropes” radio show.  He said agents backstage proceed with caution when weapons are planned for a match.

WWE talent needs to be even more careful with chair shots now.  In marketing to a younger audience, the sex and violence has been toned down.  However, WWE’s latest pay-per-view was called TLC, which stands for Tables, Ladders and Chairs.  Opponents are able to use any three of the weapons and must climb a ladder to retrieve an object – usually a title belt – to win the match.

On a recent episode of RAW, WWE Champion The Miz faced Jerry “The King” Lawler in a TLC match, perhaps as a way to introduce new fans to the concept.  Compared to previous TLC matches, their match was tame for a variety of reasons.  The Miz gingerly placed chair shots to Lawler’s back, and there were no chair shots to the head or blood.  The ladder was barely used as a weapon, and the spots where two wrestlers went through separate tables were very carefully done.

As the business evolves, WWE and TNA need to rely on other ways for their talent to get stories over.  For far too long, the wrestling industry has relied on dangerous tactics to advance its characters.  Finally, the powers that be realize this.  Hopefully, going forward, they are able to capitalize on maintaining realism and believability without sacrificing the health of their performers.

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For an alternative viewpoint, please read Wednesday’s guest post from J. Nicholas Autumn.

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Helpful links

Irv Muchnick believes WWE’s chair shot ban was a political move to help Linda McMahon get Connecticut’s Senate seat

Muchnick also believes chairs were at least part of the reason why Lance Cade committed suicide after it was revealed he had brain trauma, including WWE auctioning off the autographed chair Shawn Michaels used to beat Cade in 2008 for $315

More on athletes and concussion evidence

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More disgusting chair shots:

Cactus Jack (Mick Foley) takes one to the face

So does Ken Shamrock

Another Foley shot

Undertaker blasts the late Kanyon (7:10)

Chris Jericho nails John Cena (0:23)