November 5, 2011

It was the shot heard ’round the world.

Nope, not the one that is purported to have started the Revolutionary War.

I’m talking about the one that propelled Tex Grebner to appear in a Web redemption on Tuesday’s edition of Tosh.0.

“It hurt like a fuckin’ bitch,” Tex said about the bullet that ripped through his thigh before flying out above his knee. “It feels like getting hit in the leg with a sledgehammer and then a burning, ripping pain. And then the charlie horse from hell. And that’s all in a total of approximately 30 seconds until you are completely OD’d on adrenaline.”

But it was that shot that prompted Comedy Central to fly Tex – and several of his firearms – out to California recently to meet Daniel Tosh and take part in his own Web redemption, where he’ll soon join the girl in her prom dress who stumbled down the stairs and smacked her head on the floor, the backyard wrestler who flopped on the moonsault, that other girl who completely whiffed it imitating Risky Business, and Tron Guy. (Note: As of this writing, the video has 499,962 views on YouTube).

“People ask me, ‘So what is Daniel Tosh like?’ ‘Is he pretty cool or is he a dick?’ ‘Is he a dick or is he pretty cool?’

“Daniel Tosh is a pretty cool dick,” Tex said. “He’s cordial, he’s very intelligent, but he played dumb long enough to make me look dumb.”

Tex isn’t allowed to spill details until the episode airs, but he opened up about the process of what it’s like to be on the show.

Tex said Tosh interviewed him for about 2 hours before relocating to the Los Angeles Gun Club, where cameras rolled for another 6 hours.

“There was a lot of shit they were asking me in the interview,” he said. “Certain questions that I absolutely fucking refused to answer.”

Those questions prodded details about his family, his background and about his arsenal of weapons.

“I knew that whether or not they presented me in a positive light was up to them,” he said. “But I was just gonna be myself.”

The host of Tex Grebner Outdoors initially wasn’t so sure about being a part of the web redemption.

“At the time I was reluctant because, well, it was Comedy Central and I just blew a fucking 45-caliber hole through my leg,” he said. “I worried about my credibility, future careers (and) what kind of press it would bring me.”

He ultimately decided, with the counsel of his mentor and instructor, that he is a representative of the school at which he trained.

“I tried to represent the school in a positive light,” he said.

Tex was paid to do the show, but “I don’t like necessarily talking about how much I made.”

Even though Comedy Central paid Tex’s way round-trip to Culver City, he would have preferred driving himself, if nothing more than to at least get a few meals during his trip. The show’s crew wanted him to look like he does in his videos, so he wore his old-school fatigue jacket and cowboy hat to and from the shoot. Tex said he’d be sitting at an airport bar when he’d hear whispers before his video started playing. Annoyed, Tex would journey to a different spot.

Overall, though, he said people were very gracious and complimentary.

“Even back in August, it was apparent that I was very recognizable as ‘that guy,'” Tex said. “It amazes me that people think I’m cooler than I am.”

He said he’s literally the epitome of “kind of a big deal” because he doesn’t think he’s famous. People tell him, “Holy shit, man, you’re gonna be on TV.” But Tex said he would rather remain modest and “let others grow my legend as opposed to talking my own shit.

“Outside of real life, people really think I’m fuckin’ something,” he said. “In life, I’m just another fuckin’ guy trying to win a rat race.”

Tex looks at his newfound fame like this: “Life ain’t like the pornos and huntin’ ain’t like the shows.”

The 2006 Metamora Township High School graduate said it’s interesting having local fans now, as opposed to his YouTube subscribers who are far and away.

“Where was all this fucking popularity in high school when I gave a shit about it,” he asked. “Women are swooning over the fact that I’m gonna be on Tosh.0 (that eight years ago) wouldn’t give me the time of day between classes.”

Tex’s exploits, to be sure, have garnered some national attention in addition to Tosh.0.

“What’s funny is I made the Huffington Post, but not the (Peoria) Journal Star,” he said.

Tex will be appearing on the Nov. 17 episode of the Top 20 Most Shocking on TruTV, and he’ll also be on upcoming editions of S.W.A.T Magazine TV on the Outdoor Channel and VH1’s Top 40 Funniest Fails. He’s also in talks with the Discovery Channel for giving an interview and licensing his clip.

Tex admitted he has two regrets about the mishap.

“Firstly, just after the shot, I did not burn the entire magazine into the target,” he said. “However, I think I acted for the best. That way, if there was any question of foul play, the gun was in the actual condition” it was when he pulled the trigger.

“My next regret is that I did not grab the camera as I went past and film myself wrapping the wound or check the wound,” Tex said. “I didn’t want to be accused of hamming it up for the camera.”

Tex said he had all his guns and ammo stored in his vehicle and had stopped the bleeding before the EMTs arrived.

Despite shooting himself in the leg, the thought has never crossed Tex’s mind to put guns down. In fact, two weeks after the incident, he went to Tennessee to take a combat handguns class.

“I’m literally sticking to my guns,” he said.

(Images retrieved from Tex’s Facebook profile.)

June 26, 2011

Last week, I ran the Warrior Dash for the first time with a group of friends. I’m not a runner, so the thought of doing a 5K obstacle course seemed a bit daunting. I decided I needed to prepare myself.

Since running the Dash, I’ve also included a few other tips to help future warriors. So here are the methods I used in my training, and some other ideas to keep in mind as you go along.

Build momentum for yourself

Six weeks out from the Dash, I devised a plan for myself. Like I said, I’m not a trained runner since I’ve never done cross-country or track. I started by running a mile every day for a week. Then 1.5 miles. Then 2. By the time I got to 2.5 miles, though, I could only run 3 days a week because of an erratic work schedule and other conflicts. Starting a summer class and a full-time job meant that I could only find one day in a week to run 3 miles, and the same for 3.5 miles.

A 5K race is only something like 3.25 miles, but I thought by preparing myself for 3.5 that I would be ready for a lesser distance. I ran another 5K race six days later, with no training in between, and I had to stop and walk twice.

Run in similar conditions

The Warrior Dash isn’t generally held on a straight road or a track, which were my general training conditions. Though, a few times, I made it to the park where I ran on dirt trails on little hills that best replicated conditions at the Warrior Dash I attended.

Unless you have jungle gyms or your own obstacles, it’s probably difficult to train for those. If you’re a rock-climber, that may help you. The obstacles, in my opinion, weren’t that difficult and actually allowed you a chance to rest in between the run since you had to slow down for everybody else.

Be careful

As I ran up a hill, my foot was on a slight slope and I thought I rolled my ankle about halfway through. I felt it ache but I kept going. By the time I completed the race, I was limping out of the mudpit trying to keep my balance.

The Warrior Dash conditions are slick in spots because of the mud, and you aren’t given any safety devices when you climb the obstacles. Granted, a fall from the height wouldn’t kill you, but it’s a little more precarious when you’re hot, sweaty and a bit worn out from running.

Don’t be afraid to get dirty

Not only will you be sweaty, but you will be caked in mud. The final obstacle is a giant mudput, covered by strands of barbed wire that force you to army-crawl through a pit of filth. You are only allowed to wash your face and hands after the race, so the rest of the time will be spent caked in mud.

Unless you’re like us, and you find a tiny water hole where everybody else as washed their filth off and you’re just bathing in nastiness.

Have fun

We had about a 90-100-minute drive from home, so we had fun in the car blasting music and we motivated each other as we ran. The Dash has bands on site and offers you a free beer once you’ve finished.

June 13, 2011

We are just six days away from the Warrior Dash.

And my training wasn’t up to the level it was last week.

On the positive side, I ran three times. I clocked 3 miles and 3.5 miles continuously on separate days. Between those runs, I tried to run at the time our race is, though I decided to go after I mowed. After 1.5 miles, I gave up. I was hot and exhausted, and I just didn’t feel like it.

On the negative side, I lifted no weights last week. I’d like to think I’ll be able to this week, but with two nights of martial arts practice, a new full-time job and everything that goes into being a successful student taking a summer course, I don’t know how realistic that will be.

Though I’m extremely busy this summer, my costume arrived tonight and it looks sweet. It’s kind of a shame its inaugural wearing will see it get sweaty and dirty.

My next Dash-related blog will be about the event, so stay tuned!

June 6, 2011

Last week, I mentioned how I was planning on retooling my workout routine.

And it worked out great. I ran and lifted three days each this week.

Sure, I wasn’t running five days a week as I’d originally planned. But I feel I had more time to recharge in between runs. In fact, after two days off, I ran three miles in about 25 minutes tonight.

I’m also looking at making a slight increase in dumbbell weight this week, too.

Last week was especially fun. After a run on my typical route south of town, I was worried about my stamina after hitting the 2.5-mile mark. I had to stop and walk for the first time. Thinking I needed to switch things up, I went for a great jog through the park north of town where time and distance breezed by. On Friday, I met my other Warriors in Peoria to run through Springdale Cemetery. I was happy with my conditioning, considering we ran during the peak of the afternoon heat in a place I’ve never been before.

Tonight, I bumped up to my distance of the week, three miles. Next week is 3.5, and that Sunday will be the Warrior Dash. We’ve decided on Spartan warrior costumes.

Almost to the final stretch!

May 30, 2011

After last week’s brush with injuries and knowing how much time exercising five days a week is going to take up, I’ve decided to adjust my Warrior Dash training.

Instead of running five days a week, I’ll be reducing that number to three. I feel like I can make just as much progress if I cut two days out. So that means I’ll be running and lifting dumbbells three days a week.

I can already feel that, three weeks in, I’m feeling burned out of forcing myself to run so much. And as the distance increases, I feel like my body should take more time to recover in between.

And if those excuses sound weak, well – it’s my summer, dammit, and I want to still find time to do some things. I’m finally starting to get more hours at the store, and starting next week, I’ll be taking a class into the month of July. I’ll drive myself crazy just doing school and working. I don’t need the pressure of working out every day on my mind.

Plus, with various martial arts practices and trying to find some time to study for the GRE I plan to take in August, I have my mind on other things.

I know I can endure the Warrior Dash after running the Jingle Bell, another 5K, back in 2009. Speed isn’t my goal. My only mission for this race is to do a better job than I did in the Jingle Bell, which isn’t even that lofty.

As far as last week’s progress goes, I wound up working out five days in a row – riding my bike after stubbing my toe so bad I limped for the next day, and then running the next four, with three sessions of weights sprinkled in.

I also wound up buying whey protein powder again for the first time in several years. I’m not a dieter by any means, but I have a few rules I keep for myself that I think has helped me lose upwards of 50 pounds over the last four years. Perhaps in another blog, I’ll share my tips. for what they’re worth.